Monday, June 12, 2006

No doubt, no faith

Let no one hope to find in contemplation an escape from conflict, from anguish or from doubt. On the contrary, the deep, inexpressible certitude of the contemplative experience awakens a tragic anguish and opens many questions in the depths of the heart like wounds that cannot stop bleeding. For every gain in deep certitude there is a corresponding growth of superficial "doubt." This doubt is by no means opposed to genuine faith, but it mercilessly examines and questions the spurious "faith" of everyday life, the human faith which is nothing but the passive acceptance of conventional opinion.
Merton, Thomas. New Seeds of Contemplation. New Directions Publishing Co. 1961, p. 12-13.

It's amazing that impregnated in us is a quest for Truth that never rests. Even if it does, it does so only momentarily, till new conflict between what is and what we believe emerges. Either my belief is wrong or it is inadequate. Doubt fuels the growth of my belief, conflict opens up its boundaries and pain breaks through the floor of my conviction.